Hey fwend!!
It’s been ages since I wrote here. Navigating the pandemic, trying to understand where i fit into the cosmic order of things (i think i heard this in a movie or something but it came to mind), trying the newsletter feature on substack, trying to process what’s going on with my mental, physical and emotional health and just trying to be present and easy with myself. It sounds and looks like a lot because it is a lot and most of the time, I really cannot keep up with anything even if i want to and it makes me really sad sometimes. I feel like I am slowly fading away and becoming a shadow of myself. Other times, I am reminded that this is a process and i can’t ignore the fact that a lot is happening in my life and around me.
A few days ago, I was speaking to my doctor and she said “you have very high expectations for yourself and i think you should go easy on yourself and give yourself credits especially at this time”. That hit home for me, I still meditate on the conversation we had and I’ve been engaging in retrospective thinking. It is honestly not easy but here I am doing the damn thing (i’m giving myself credits).
How are you doing? how have you been holding up?
A little reminder for you and I is that “we are doing well, it’s easy to lose track of the things we are doing that’s working and be overwhelmed by things that are not but let’s give ourselves credits for the effort we put into trying to live.. trying to be present and showing up in the midst of chaos. It is okay to fall apart.. it’s okay to take the back seat sometimes.. it’s okay to rest..it’s okay to grieve things of the past, present and even future.. it’s okay to cry .. it’s also okay to laugh.. to laugh at little things.. to laugh at big things.. to laugh at nothing.. to laugh at everything.. It’s okay to want to be seen, to want to be held, to want to be desired, loved or cared for and it’s okay to ask for these things.. it’s totally normal and human and we deserve it. Never forget to make space for yourself and let yourself process things in ways that are authentic to you. Notice how you are feeling not only in your mind but also in your body and don’t dismiss it. We deserve ease, rest, softness, care, love and joy – cultivate them in the ways we can and hold on to them in little-big sizes.”
I love you, I’m thinking of you and holding space for you in my thoughts and prayers. Take care till we speak again!
You can subscribe to my newsletter on Substack. I am also working on my website where you can have access to more of my work as an artist and also new writing corners and things (really excited for this!). I will be sure to keep you posted.
Love always,
Firi Fombo.